It was the darkest moment,
The cruelest act,
You denied to speak
And turned into ash.

You might have chosen
To surrender yourself,
But I fail to accept it.

I am caught in that moment
And my mind refuses to escape.
My heart aches, blood boils
And people taste hatred in my words.

I do not wish to forget but
I do wish to forgive ,
Not for myself, not for this world,
But for you because
You would have done the same
Had you hold it on.

Dare you to CHANGE

We make plans enthusiastically and we fail at them miserably but still, we never give up planning and neither our habit of failing them. Only, if we could change the latter,we'll cross the line and be on the other side of grass which seems greener to us all the time. And to check the reality, we have to cross the line but alas, marred by our own   mental inhibitations, we thrive a mundane life wishing for something magical to happen like in fairy tales and how sad it is, we can lead our whole life on these changing dreams and desires and wishful thinking but never dare to move and be on the other side of line. How easily each time we console ourselves for missing the target. All the anger that boils our blood, all the guilty realisations, everything is- just like tides coming and hitting the shore and then vanishing away. It's only sometimes, the torrents / tsunamis come and change the scene. We too wait for that tsunami to come in our life and those lucky ones,which get hit , their lives changes for good or bad, God knows but "change" does come to them. And rest of us, we keep on waiting to be wooed by change, never thinking to go and embrace it all by ourselves. We wait till it is thrust-ed upon us whether we like it or not.
So today, I dare myself to bring a CHANGE in me, which I have been resisting for long and have paid a heavy price so far for my resistance. Can you think of any habit you would like to change in yourself but have not been able to ?  Anything that you have been planning to do, but didn't have courage to? Think and I am sure, you'll end up with a long list, So, it's time to Challenge Yourself, DARE YOURSELF to bring that CHANGE IN YOU, to do all those DARING things which you have always wanted to do.

P.S.: Wrote this post a month back but didn't publish it. May be, I was holding back, something inside me didn't approve. But not any longer. On my journey to self-discovery, I don't know how many times I will have to dare myself to walk that extra mile, but I am no longer afraid to Dare Myself. 

Too Many Mind

Nobutada: [after Algren is defeated in fencing pratice] Please forgive; too many mind.
Algren: [puzzeled] "Too many mind?"
Nobutada: Hai, mind the sword, mind the people watch, mind enemy - -too many mind.

[seriously]
Nobutada: No mind.
Algren: [pretending getting it] No mind. 


It's a quote from a movie "The Last Samurai" and I am a huge fan of this movie starring Tom Cruise. Though the entire movie is a treat to watch, this quote has specifically left a lasting impression on my thoughts, ever since I watched it for the first time. A short description of the scene-
Algren(Tom Cruise) is being taught how to fight with a Samurai sword and he's struggling to learn the technique. He's thinking about lot many things- the sword, the people who are watching, how to protect and eventually failing to learn. Nobutada tells Algren to stop thinking of other things. All these things are dividing his attention and so he needs to free his mind and let his insticts guide him.
That's possibly the best advice one could have given at that time - Too Many Minds---> No Mind.  I'll take it a little further: Too Many Minds-->No Mind--> One Mind.

And the advice still stands good for many of us. Sometimes, we need to stop thinking. Stop thinking about others expectations, assumptions about the career,about luck, destiny, love, hurt, hatred and everything that keeps our mind occupied unnecesarily.We just don't think, but over-think on these issues so much that we miss the reality. It's our habit. But what we don't realise is that it divides our focus and drains us mentally eventually letting tensions and worries to take a toll on our health and the side-effects follows ( And our dear ones become the victims too)... Uhh.. Heavy price we pay, isn't it?

Is it too hard to stop our mind from wandering or do we just don't try hard enough to do it? Are we so used to this commotion that silence in our lives haunts us? Definitely no. We do long for the inner peace. We do wish to put an end to all the troubles. But the only problem is, that we merely wish and nothing beyond. We  merely THINK and DO NOT ACT. We loose to our inner evil that plays game with our mind. We keep ignoring the reality which seems so simple. Simplicity no longer appeals to us. Its the complexity we choose to go after, becoz the more intricate it is, the better chances of showing our prowness. We might have mastered the art of MultiTasking in computer field but in human life, we still yield better result by focusing on things one at a time.

A lot of books have been written on this, there are people who have much more to say, guide and offer us a solution and fundaes to overcome it, to make our life blissful and meaningful. But do their magic works?? If at all, world would have been altogether a different, better and a peaceful place to live in. Alas, it is not. Why? Why it is not? For now,  I leave this question unanswered, for each one of us to figure out on own, as I do it for myself.
[ To be continued.. ]

P.S.: Every day, life surprises me , it has so much to offer. Continuing on my journey to self-discovery, will keep this blog posted about my random questions, vague thoughts and inspirations.